Hello? ¿Bueno? ¿Bueno?

 I really should be writing, but... I just realized I'm due for a new cell phone.  By the way, I hate smart phones.  They're too smart for me.  You need a Doctorate to figure how to use those things.  That, or you have to actually read the instructions.  "What language is this?!"  I don't have time for that.  I'm supposed to be writing, remember?  "Honey, put down that script and do the grocery list."  If only I'd paid more attention in school,  I'd be smarter and wiser and able to operate those fancy contraptions... "Somebody help me!"  My parents should've found me a tutor back in the day... "I can take pictures, too?"  Simply amazing... Pretty soon there'll be a phone that performs oil changes every 3,000 miles... "What's this thing called texting?  Isn't that illegal except in Nevada?"