Okay, so my wife wants to go dancing this weekend... Something about Valentine's Day... I'm not so sure. I mean, dancing can be hazardous to one's health. First, the bright lights-- they'll surely blind me. "Hey, where'd everybody go?!" And the booming music-- "I can't hear you!" I don't want to suffer hearing loss and have to wear one of those clunky hearing aides... "It doesn't match my skin tone!" Here's another concern: What if my dance moves are so mesmerizing that talent scouts flood the place. "We'd like you dance on TV." I don't have time for that-- I have a writing career to consider! And let's not forget those gigantic disco balls... If one of those things falls on my head, I'll surely suffer a debilitating concussion. "Who am I? Where am I?" As you can see, a night of dancing can bring dire consequences. That's it, I'm putting my foot down. I'll have to tell the wife that dancing is out. O-U-T-- Out! I'll be honest with her, straightforward... Maybe I"ll write her a note: "My dearest love, I've been kidnapped by a gang of (space) aliens and will have to miss the dance..." Yeah, that should do the trick...
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