Thursday, February 10, 2011

Shall We Dance?

Okay, so my wife wants to go dancing this weekend... Something about Valentine's Day...  I'm not so sure.  I mean, dancing can be hazardous to one's health.  First, the bright lights-- they'll surely blind me.  "Hey, where'd everybody go?!" And the booming music-- "I can't hear you!"  I don't want to suffer hearing loss and have to wear one of those clunky hearing aides... "It doesn't match my skin tone!"  Here's another concern: What if my dance moves are so mesmerizing that talent scouts flood the place.  "We'd like you dance on TV."  I don't have time for that-- I have a writing career to consider!  And let's not forget those gigantic disco balls... If one of those things falls on my head, I'll surely suffer a debilitating concussion.  "Who am I?  Where am I?"  As you can see, a night of dancing can bring dire consequences.  That's it, I'm putting my foot down.  I'll have to tell the wife that dancing is out.  O-U-T-- Out!  I'll be honest with her, straightforward... Maybe I"ll write her a note: "My dearest love, I've been kidnapped by a gang of (space) aliens and will have to miss the dance..."  Yeah, that should do the trick...  

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