Up, Up, and Away!

I don't want to sound ungrateful but... I'll take my chances.  If the situation ever presents itself, please don't get me a balloon bouquet. Chances are, I'd be given the wrong one: 'It's a girl!"-- No, I'm a boy, okay?!  I've always been a boy, from all indications...  Here's another thing, I don't weigh all that much and... I'm afraid I'd float away holding onto a bunch of balloons.  "Somebody get me down from here!"  Nice, a human piñata.  With my luck, someone would find a creative way of ending my predicament. "Jethro, is that there one of them vultures in the sky?"  Great... "No, Pa, we're being invaded by Martians-- and I'm gonna shoot 'em down for ya!"  Imagine what would happen if I went into a no-fly zone: "Uh... why's that fighter jet headed right towards me?"  Not only do I NOT want to be  someone's target practice, nor dodge F-15's, I don't like heights, either (that's why I don't walk on my tippy toes.) And I respect people's privacy, too. I'd be weirded out about peeking down into backyards: "Hey, use some discretion down there!"  If I wanted to hang out in the sky, I would've majored in Blimps."  "You sure are a skinny blimp, mister."  No doubt about it, I'm going to make sure to keep my feet firmly on the ground.  That's where Man was born to be... "Uh... guys, I think I stepped on something..."  Then again...