Saturday, October 8, 2011

Third Time's the Charm

Hi! -- Bye!  Not so fast...  I recently heard about this guy who robbed the same bank -- for the third time!  "We haven't seen you for awhile... Ooh, is that a new semi-automatic weapon you have there?  It's nice..."  How exactly does a bad guy rob the same bank three straight times?  "Mr. Robber, how would you like your money today? -- large bills or small?"  I mean, come on, I've heard of making your customers feel welcome, but this is beyond the call of duty.  "How's the family...? And your sciatic nerve, is it doing any better?"  Why, I bet the guy helps himself to coffee over in the break room while his moneybags are getting filled... "Guys, you're kinda low on sugar..." (I'm lucky if I get a grunt or a nod when I go into my local branch) I can only imagine, the robber sitting there, with his legs crossed: "Take your time, guys, I've got time to kill..." (not exactly what you want to hear during a bank robbery) I wonder if the tellers ever close for lunch when the robber approaches.  I seriously doubt it.  "I can help you over here, sir!"  See what I mean?  Here I am, Mr. Nice Guy, and I'm lucky NOT to get a dirty look when I ask for a crisp ten-dollar bill... "I guess... I'll have to go to the vault..." What's next, is the culprit going to be named Robber of the Month? -- have his portrait displayed proudly on the wall?  I can already see it: "For Outstanding Effort and Contributions In Local Bank Heists"  It's not fair, it's just not.  As a long-time bank customer, I'd like a little attention, a little respect:  "Yoohoo!  Can somebody help me over here...? Hello...? This pen doesn't work... Hello...?"

No comments:

Post a Comment