Honesty is the Best Fallacy

I don't like to lie.  "You're lying."  No, I'm being honest -- I don't like to lie.  "Who do you think you are, Honest Abe?  -- you don't even wear a hat!"  And due to my honest ways, I was extremely bothered by a strange e-mail the other day.  "Which day?"  I don't recall.  "That is strange..."  The e-mail claimed that everyone I know is a lie.  "No way -- you're lying."  I wish I was... What drives people to come up with such lies?  "How do you know it's a lie?"  My kids aren't lies! If they were, I wouldn't have so many bills!  "Ah, come on, they can't be that expensive."   No?  What do you call braces, shoes -- back to school clothes!  "Expenses I like to avoid..."  You know, all this talk reminds me of a show that hinges on lies.  Lots of them.  "Let me guess: 'I Love Lucy' -- I love that show!"  No, not -- "That's not Ricky's real accent is it?! -- and Lucy's not a redhead!"  That's not the show I'm talking about... "So tell us then."  I'm talking about 'Pretty Little Liars.'  "Wait a minute, you watch that?  That's a girly teen show!"  Uh, I have a teen daughter, remember?  "Now that you mention it, I don't remember -- should I be worried?  I played a lot of football as a kid, took some hard shots to the head..."  Look, it's not that I never watch 'Pretty Little Liars'... Once in awhile, I pass by when my daughter's watching an episode, so I'll catch a minute or two... "Remember, you don't like to lie..."  Okay, so I'll watch the entire episode!  So sue me!  "Actually, I'd rather settle out of court..."  From what I understand, the show centers on a murder that occurred several TV seasons ago -- at least four!  The main characters are high school girls who all happen to be pretty.  "Where do I enroll?"  These girls lie to everybody, keep good grades,  and try to catch the villain -- without ever messing up their hair!  This has gone on for years!  "Sounds believable to me..."  Really?  "You tell us -- you're the expert dad..."  At the rate the show's going, they'll have to rename it 'Lil' Lying Grannies.'  "Hey, that sounds like a spin-off, where crime-solving grandmas wield their mighty canes."  You like it?  "Pitch it to Hollywood,  make a boatload of money."  Yeah?  You really think so?!  "Nah, I was only lying..."