"So, what do ya like to do on your free time? Huntin'? Fishin'?" Well, these days I don't have much free time, actually. I have lots of homework... "Oh, ya mean ya do your kids' homework? School projects, too?" Uh, no, that's not what I mean... "Ya'll don't do their homework? -- get that busy work over and done with? Ya call yourself a parent?!" That's not the kind of homework I'm talking about... "What then?" Look, we're all trying to make a honest buck or two, right? "What exactly do ya mean by honest?" These days I'm helping out my wife as she delves into new opportunities... "Ya allow your wife to delve? Ya don't seem the type..." She's involved in a new business venture, so I'm brushing up on some product knowledge to assist. That's my homework... "That's mighty fine of ya. What are ya guys selling?" Uh, just some stuff... "What kind of stuff?" Well, first of all, I'm secure with my masculinity. I'm a man's man... "That's a bit of a stretch, but okay, we'll go with that..." I'm here to support my wife, to help her out in whatever way I can. "And what if she becomes ultra successful? She won't let ya forget it." Hey, more for me, right? "So spill the beans, what's this business venture of ya'll? You guys selling real estate? Apartment buildings? Timeshares?" No, not timeshares... "Good, cuz timeshares are a waste of time..." Uh... I'm helping my wife sell women's cosmetics! There, I said it. Deal with it. "What did ya say? Ya'll doing what?" You heard me... "I reckon I did..." Yes, I'm learning about moisturizers and lipsticks and -- "What are your buddies going to say? The boys in the coal mines aren't gonna let ya live this down..." I don't work in the coal mines. "Good thing 'cuz they'd leave ya down there." What's wrong with knowing about nail polish and perfumes, huh? Tell me! I'm doing this for my wife! I want her to have a few extra bucks in her purse! "Have ya'll tried going to the ATM?" I'm done with your insults, okay? Enough is enough! "Fine, but ya can't say I didn't warn ya, buddy. I feel sorry for ya on poker nights..." Tell me, is there a law that prohibits men from selling foot creams and eyeliner?! -- and I don't play poker, by the way! "That's not a surprise..." Just for that, I'm going to sell women's cosmetics full-time. I'll quit writing if I have to! "Fine, I guess this sales job means ya'll cut back on your sports viewing? Skip Lakers and Dodgers games so ya can sell lady undergarments, too... " Uh... maybe my daughter can help instead. She's not doing much of anything, other than texting...
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