Be Sure To Insure

I get amused when I hear about famous celebrities insuring their beloved body parts: lips, toes, and everything in between...  "You're easily amused, aren't you?"  Well, all the insurance talk got me thinking one day... "Oh oh..."  Yes, I'll admit that I tried to come up with a list of my own body parts that should be insured for multi millions...  "You can afford the premiums?"  Well no, but it's fun to think about... "You're easy to please, aren't you?"  Anyway, at first I drew a blank, not sure of what to insure, so I proceeded to stand in front of a mirror and tried to choose that way.. "You're quite the narcissist, aren't you?"  First of all, no!  Second of all, I don't even know what that is!  "You really don't know what a narcissist is?"  How could I? -- I'm too busy thinking about myself... "I rest my case."  Looking back on it, it was pretty difficult trying to decide...  "In other words, there's nothing worth insuring, huh?"  I stood there, arguing with myself, trying to pick my most valuable body parts.  "You argue with yourself? -- don't make it a habit."  Look, I'm not putting up with haters today.  "Sorry..."  Anyway, where was I? -- ah, insuring body parts.  At first, I believed I'd want to insure my -- "Don't say it, you want to insure your --" That's right, my eyes.  "Why your eyes?"  Well, first of all, I have two.  "That's a good enough reason -- and it's an even number, no?"  Correct.  That makes them doubly important.  "Okay..."  Then, there are my ears, they're extremely important to me, too.  I'd never leave home without them.  And yes, they come in pairs also. (By the way, my ears work quite well -- unless my wife tries to get me to listen to her Honey Do list.)  "Look, if you're going to go by two's, then maybe you should insure your -- "  That's right, maybe I should insure my thumbs.  "That's not exactly what we had in mind..." Anyway, I went back and forth, unable to decide on my most prized body parts.  Finally, I grew frustrated and turned to my wife for advice: "Honey, hypothetically speaking, what body part would you want me to insure?  You know, in case I ever decided to do such a  thing..."  Well, my better half came up with an interesting response -- once she stopped laughing.  "I'd prefer to get insurance for the dog."  Huh?  What makes that pooch so special?  "Well, for one thing, he doesn't stand in front of a full length mirror staring at himself for hours!"  Oh...