I'm Not Going Bananas... Am I?

Much to my chagrin -- "Do you even know what that means?" -- I was absolutely flabbergasted the other day -- "You and your words!" -- when I heard about a man that ran away from a gorilla.  Why?  He didn't have to do that.  "Excuuuuuse me, Mr. Tough Guy.  Not everybody's as fearless as you."  Wait, let me explain.  This so-called gorilla, it was not a real gorilla.  "What was it, a cartoon?  Cartoons aren't real."  Actually, it was someone dressed as a gorilla that was chasing after the guy.  "Oh.  Go on."  Unfortunately, the chasee was struck by a car and ended up in the hospital with needless injuries.  "He should've looked both ways."  That's what I say.  Meanwhile, my question remains: Why was the guy compelled to scamper away in the first place?  "You'll have to run him down and pose that question."  I mean, couldn't he tell it was a fake gorilla?  Didn't he see the Velcro and zippers?  "Or the 'Made in China' tag!"  That's a very good point.  "I'm happy to point it out."  In any case, I must've dwelled on the gorilla talk way too much; it's messing with my mind. "Don't tell us, you can't stop beating your chest."  Well, no, but --  "You climbed the Empire State Building and swatted away passing planes."  No, none of that.  But the other night I had a really strange dream.  "What else would you expect?  -- you're a strange dude."   Look, the dream centered on a gorilla and me... "Just the two of you?" Kinda, yes...  "Were candles involved?"  Don't be silly.  "Maybe you should keep this dream to yourself."  Please, let me finish: this dream involved a sleeping gorilla.  "Nothing wrong with that.  Gorillas have a right to sleep."  Uh, the gorilla was asleep in our washing machine.  It even snored.  "No way, Bombay!"  I'm serious.  "No, you're sick!"  What did it mean, this snoozing gorilla...  "Was there a spin cycle?"  I can't recall.  "Did the ape suffer from sleep apnea?  Now you're being absurd.  "Hey, I'm not the one that dreams about gorillas!"  Do you really think I need help?  "Freud would've loved you..."  Now, as a result of all this, I can't get near our laundry room.  I'm terrified to go in there.  "You mean, you can't help with the laundry?  You can't fold clothes?"  Nothing.  I can't help my wife with the darks nor the whites -- not even towels.   "Interesting... any chance your gorilla friend can visit our house?"