Wasn't Me...

Before I start -- "You just did." -- I want to make something perfectly clear: In no way, shape, or form do I want to turn the following into sophomoric, silly, bathroom humor.  "Fine, we'll behave like mature adults..."  Don't get me wrong: bathroom humor has a place in our society... mainly in bathrooms, outhouses, and porta potties across America... So, where do I begin?  "You began here quite a while ago..." Okay, so... Apparently, dinosaurs had much to do with Global Warming  way back when...  "When exactly was when?"  Believe it or not, we can blame the change in climate during the Dinosaur Era on methane gas, if you catch my whiff, uh, drift... "You mean...?"  It seems that British scientists with too much time on their hands learned that dinosaurs really affected the environment with their uh, bodily, uh, gases.  "No way!"  Yes way!  "You've got to be joking!"  Not at all.  I'm being totally serious.  "Totally? -- since when?"  This is no time to joke.  No time to laugh.  "But it's funny!"  No, it's not!  We're talking science here, people!  "I never liked science -- especially dissecting those frogs."  Thank you for sharing... Simply put, dinosaurs were the first to cause global warming: the Allosaurus, the Brachiosaurus -- never mind the Ford Taurus...  "You've got something against Al Gore, don't you?  You're mocking him!  You're poking fun at him!"  Wait just a minute, I'm not poking anybody!  And I'm certainly not trying to get political here.    Please, listen to me -- and wipe that silly grin off your face, will ya?  "But this is hilarious!"  Please stop... "Okay, go on..."  Thank you... So, to summarize, dinosaurs contributed to their own demise by --  "You're making this up."  Think what you want, but why would I lie?  "We know your type."  I'm just the messenger, folks.  Scientists are sure about this... By the way, I'd like to know what the families of these brilliant minds thought about the dinosaur findings... "We sent you to Cambridge and Oxford for this?!"