There Goes the Neighborhood...

"Have you noticed what I noticed?"  You know, I will say I have taken note.  It seems rather fashionable for jetliners to be converted into homes in certain neighborhoods.  "You seen the wings on that thing...?"  For the record, I once lived in a converted garage -- but a one-time big bird?  Can't say I've ever tried it.  "Don't knock it if you haven't..."  Sorry, but I don't think I'd like living out of an airplane.  "You'd feel like you're always on the road, huh?"  Well no, but... "Living out of a suitcase..."  First off, I'd have so much trouble deciding where to sit every time I came home.  "Please, dear, have a seat... " Yeah, which one? (not that I'm indecisive)  Then there are the boys from the old neighborhood who would try to take advantage, always ask me for favors: "Hey, homey, how 'bout a ride?"  I'd have to say "No" right?  "That's messed up, dude..."  Then again, on those days when I felt like a bit of an elitist, I could always sit in First Class...  "Caviar, please..." Yeah, right.  I can already see my wife taking advantage of such living arrangements: "Come and get it --  water and peanuts!"  Forget that.  And believe you me, I wouldn't stay quiet: "How 'bout something with meat and bones once in awhile!"  On the other hand, staying in coach would help keep me grounded, given all my recent success (stop laughing).  Maybe I should try living in an airplane on a trial basis, maybe put one next to our current house.  But wait, first I'd have to get an 'okay' from our esteemed association (you have to get written permission just to sneeze in our community).  And here's another thing: I don't think my wife would care too much for her new wardrobe:  "I'm tired of dressing like a flight attendant all week long!"  (At least she wouldn't complain there wasn't a thing to wear.)  Nah, maybe living in an airplane wouldn't be such a good idea.  Knowing my wife, she'd get tired of giving instructions to the kids every morning as they left for school... "Exits are on either side -- and this time leave the oxygen masks behind!"