I'm Hooked!

"Something fishy's going on around here..."  As a matter of fact, it is, especially now that bass fishing's an official sport in Kentucky high schools.  "Are you sure?"  Well, uh, that's my understanding.  I think... Being the worldly guy that I am, I'm pretty certain they're talking about the fish... Then again, maybe it's bass guitars... (I figure it's the fish since so few of those guitars are  tossed into lakes and streams each year anyway.) But let's assume it's those big-eyed sea creatures they're talking about down south.  If so, it brings to question how compatible the sport of fishing will be with scholastic life.  Will the student body welcome the sport with open mouths, uh, arms?  "You would think so..."  Will team members be allowed to roam the hallways with fishing rods?  "My eye!  You poked my eye!"  Simply put, will the sport of fishing be detrimental to a 'positive learning environment'?  "Did something die? -- What's that smell?!"  Here's another thing: Will the varsity guys and gals get to  'letter' in this new sport, too?  "I don't see why not..."  Will the image of a flopping fish be proudly on display on the letterman jackets?  Most importantly, how are those fishing school boys ever going to find prom dates?  "You're asking me to the prom? -- smelling like that?!"  With any luck, bass fishing will be as popular as Kentucky basketball someday.  "Adolf Rupp's gonna roll over in his grave..."  And I wonder if actress Ashley Judd will start showing up for Final Four 'Fish-offs' in her home state now that it's a competitive sport.  You know, to cheer on her favorite fishing squad... "Go team! -- finish that fish!"  How funny, all this fish talk has me interested in taking up the sport myself.  I mean, it appears relaxing and kind of fun... I'm sure my wife wouldn't mind... "Are you sure?"  Sure, I'm sure.  My wife's a good sport...  "That's not what we heard..." Okay, so she has a sensitive nose, and she does mind when I apply stinky ointments to my achy erector spinae muscles.  But other than that, I don't think my lovely spouse will have any problems if I take up fish -- "OUT!  AND STAY OUT!"  Maybe I'll take up bird watching instead...