"Give Me Your Green!"

I was saddened to hear about a recent robbery at a Southern California convenience store.  "Your onion-laced potato chips or your life!"  This was no ordinary heist, folks.  Far from it.  Not only did a couple of scoundrels steal money and take goodies without paying, one did so in disguise -- dressed up as Gumby!  Yes, that Gumby!  MY Gumby.  That cute little green guy that brought joy and happiness to so many kiddies' lives -- mine included.  What's this world coming to?  Is there no shame?  What that guy did was sacrilegious.   "Thou shall not steal -- especially when dressed in green, with a slightly askew head."  I'm surprised his accomplice didn't gallop in as Pokey.  (I'm told the real Pokey was grazing on Kentucky bluegrass, minding his own business).   Frankly, folks, I'm flummoxed.  Next thing you'll know, someone dressed like a famous Orange County mouse will be  jacking cars.  How sad...  But getting back to Gumby, wonderful childhood memories were ripped right out of me when I heard about that Gumby impersonator.  Thanks to him, I have recurring nightmares of a panic-stricken Gumby running away from flashing police sirens.  "Stop! -- or we'll roll you into a big ball of clay!"  Oh Gumby... he was my friend, my confidant.  I worshiped Gumby, I shared with him my innermost thoughts, all my secrets (okay, maybe not all my secrets).  I swear, I'm suing that convenience store crook for emotional duress.  "You bad guy, you!  You're gonna pay for this, including all my therapy sessions!-- and they ain't cheap!"