New Shoe, Where Are You?

You should be glad you're not me.  Really glad.  You see, I'm in the middle of a big scare.  That's right -- a shoe scare.  Simply put, I can't find my shoe.  My new shoe...  It's really  disappointing -- and costly, too.  "Shoe, where are you?  I miss you."  Did my new shoe vanish into thin air?  Should I distribute MISSING SHOE fliers?  Then again, there's always the chance I purchased one shoe and simply forgot (another reason to save your receipts).  Just to be safe, I continue to look for my shoe (a right shoe, should anyone care to join in the search).  The more I think about it, I'm almost certain I purchased two shoes.  I usually do.  Unless I went with one to try something new -- or to protest Wall Street.  It's so sad to see my left shoe sitting in a corner, all alone... I can only imagine what it's thinking: "Hey, where's my other half?  I can't function without my sole mate..."  Yes, it's truly sad... So, what do I do?  I weigh my options: 1.) I can give up the search and hook up with another pair of shoes, or 2.) I can adapt and walk/hop around on one foot.  There's nothing to be ashamed of: "I got hurt playing rugby and now I can't wear a shoe on that foot."  But that would be lying.  I'm not a good liar.  "You lost your shoe, didn't you?  What a dork."  Uh... I can always practice my lying: "Why do I wear only one shoe, you ask?  It's something I picked up in the foothills of Europe."  Then again, maybe I can come up with something more believable,  more creative: "I'm training for the Hop Scotch Olympics."  Yes, I can go with that explanation -- if I choose to lie.  In the meantime, "I miss you, new shoe.  I hardly got to know ya, much less wear ya..."