Get In Line!

The family and I recently went to an amusement park and stood and waited in long lines from morning 'til night.  Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock... I still don't see the point.  "What did I do to deserve this?"  I mean, what godawful crime did I commit in another lifetime?  When I think of all the productive things I could've done that day, something worthwhile, something meaningful for society... Instead of frittering the time away,  maybe I could've come up with a polio vaccine... "Uh, that's been taken care of, sir."  Okay, well, maybe I could've invented something that people fly in, that actually crosses vast oceans at record speeds, a sort of gigantic bird ... "Sorry, the Wright Brothers beat you to it."  Oh well, back to the drawing board...  Anyhow, I just don't see the thrill of standing in long lines for hours at a time for rides that last 30 seconds -- if that.  "That's it?!  I stood in line for this?!  I hardly had time to blink!"  To make matters worse, the "highlight" of the day was almost getting into a fight with some foreigner because she thought my family was cutting.  "I dare ya to cuss me out  in English, lady!  I dare ya!"  I'm sorry, but there's gotta be better reasons for standing in hundred degree weather... "You again? -- didn't I just see your face a minute ago?"   Sure, you can always buy a "speed pass" to zip right up to the front of the line, but have you seen the prices?  "You want me to pay how much?! -- so I can visit EVERY day of the year?!"  Not a chance.   Then again, maybe next time I can fake an injury and ask for a wheelchair, mosey on up to the head of the line.  But I'm not a good liar.  With my luck, security would see right through me, begin to question me...  "It's a miracle! --  I can walk!"  Maybe next time I'll just put a life-size cutout of myself in line.  That way, the person behind me can just move it up and call me over when it's time to slip to the front.  "Excuse me, fella, you wouldn't mind moving this life-like figure for me, would ya?"  Yeah, I think that'll work... "Excuse me? -- you find that piece of cardboard more interesting than me?! -- You actually want to sit on the ride with it?!"  Why, the nerve of some people...