Stayin' Alive!

Sorry, but traveling abroad is not at the top of my to-do list.  Far from it.  "We'll have to do a cavity search, sir."  Enough said, right?  Wait til you hear about the bonehead moves by supposed doctors in far-off countries.  I mean, did you catch the one about the  patient in Brazil who was pronounced dead by her physician? -- just one problem: she was still alive.  Yes, the poor woman was mistakenly bagged in a cold storage drawer at the morgue!  (I've heard of bag ladies, but this is too much.)  I'm not making this up, guys.  Her daughter was called in the middle of the night to identify the body: "Uh, why's she blinking?  -- My mother's blinking!"  Can you imagine the horror, being stuck in a freezer for all those many hours?  "Can I have the last popsicle?!"  In my humble opinion, this woman really got the cold shoulder.  But wait, I have more for all you globetrotters out there: Back in July, a South African man woke up only to find himself  locked in a morgue's refrigerator, too!  -- yes, same thing!  The poor guy played the unenviable role of Mr. Freeze for twenty-one stinking hours!  "Hey, somebody help me! -- It's freezing in here! -- Can I at least have a sweater!"  (I appreciate cool weather as much as the next guy, but that's way out of line.)  What I'd like to know is where'd these so-called doctors studied medicine... "Why, I completed med school on-line."  Okay, that explains it...