"Me So Corny..."

They sure don't make thieves like they used to.  Look, I don't condone their actions, but today's thieves just don't realize the time and preparation that it takes to execute a successful robbery (Call my agent if you have issues with what you're about to read).  Exhibit A: a couple of  'smart' guys thought they'd pulled off the greatest train robbery in recent memory. "Yeah, we scored!"  Okay, but then they discovered their loot -- a train full of corn.  Corn!  A sea of corn, as far as the eyes can see.  "I've never seen so many ears!"  I can just hear those dorks:  "I thought you said 'Coin!'"  No, not coin -- corn!  The train was packed with corn, folks.  Talk about not being prepared.  These guys didn't do their homework -- now look at the results.  "What are we going to do with all this corn?"  Good question.  "Want to make some tortillas?"  Oh, they'll have to do better than that; otherwise, they'll have a house full of corn for the next ten years.  "Honey, when are you going to clean out the garage?"  There must be something they can do with all that corn, right?  "How 'bout corn on the cob?  Corn bread?  Corn casserole?  Enough already!  "Scalloped corn?  Baked corn?  Corn pudding?"  Unbelievable... That's what those lawless lunatics get for being so dumb.  "You didn't want to listen to me.  You didn't want to rob a bank instead."  If nothing else, those guys should stop complaining and try to stay positive.  "Man, I gotta see a doctor.  These corns are killing me."  Not exactly what I had in mind...