Karaoke KO

On the eve of New Year's... uh, Eve, I'd like to take a moment to warn friends and family about a potential problem: Yes, Karaoke may be hazardous to one's health.  "You mean my tonsils?"  If you'll allow me, let me explain...  Maybe you have, maybe you haven't -- probably you haven't: Has anybody heard about the brawl that broke out over an innocent round of Karaoke?  Yes, that really happened.  People got hurt, bodies went flying everywhere... all because of a simple song. (No, I don't think it was a Willie Nelson tune.)  Playing the role of good Samaritan, I welcome this opportunity to warn all prospective karaoke singers as to what may happen if singing efforts are not up to snuff.  Simply put, you may get punched in the face by your harshest critics.  Pow!  Bam!  Slam!  "I've fallen and I can't get up!"  Isn't that sad?  Isn't that cruel?  My fellow Americans, is this what our great country's come to?  Here we -- uh, they are, trying to entertain, and instead of happy times, aspiring singers are being attacked on stage.  "Booooo!  Hisssss!" -- and that's just for starters!  Violence is taking over this great country of ours over the dumbest things.  (By the way, does anybody know if the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight is ever going to take place?)  Political pundits tell me there's talk of adding an amendment to our great Constitution: "All Karaoke singers are created equal."  Yes, anything to promote equality and curb the violence.  Please, please, all you wannabe singers out there, be careful. Especially tonight.  Have a safe and happy New Year, everybody, and whatever you do, don't sing off-key...