"Wanna Be My Friend?"

Mike Tyson, is not alone.  As you may all remember, there was a time when the former champ had a thing for ears (ink to the face came years later).  "My, what juicy ears you have..."  Well, along with Girl Scout cookies, I'm pleased to announce that a certain thing for ears isn't going away any time soon.  Not too long ago, I put my own "orejas" to good use and heard about a guy who had nothing better to do.  So, instead of going out and feeding the homeless -- or helping the elderly -- he used his time and energy elsewhere.  That's right, the guy went out and bit off a buddy's ear  -- over a gambling argument.  "With friends like that..."  Ouch!  At the cost of some cartilage, I'd like to put a positive spin on the unfortunate incident.  Yes, I'll try to turn this into a teachable moment (maybe I'll be an educator in another lifetime).  Be sure to take notes, boys and girls: 1.) Think twice before you gamble.  "I bet ya anything I can get a date with Kate Upton before you can..."  2.) Cover your ears with duct tape if you're going to upset a friend.  "That hurts, ya know?"  And 3.) Be sure to know what you're going to do with the ear once it stops bouncing around and settles in a pool of blood... "I'm not going to pick that up! -- You pick it up! -- you did it!!!"  Oh, and whatever you do, folks, don't share these succulent ear stories with Mom -- especially if you're Mexican.  Before you know it, she'll be hard at work in the kitchen...  "Anybody want menudo?"