"Want That With Cheese?"

Hello, can anybody hear me?  Hello?  Yes, did anybody catch how local police were able to lure a naked man from a downtown radio tower?  "Really?  Give us the details, please."  Okay, but only because you said please.  "You sure the guy was wearing his birthday suit?"  Why would I lie?  Here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the naked truth:  "Pinky swear?"  It seems the cops convinced this nut job (bad choice of words) to leave his perch by way of a sophisticated ploy:  "James Bond would be so proud."  That's right, they fed him hamburgers.  "Are you serious?"  Yup, that's all it took.  And that got me to thinking that maybe I should try something similar with my own kids.    While they don't climb radio towers in their undies, my kids need the occasional 'motivator' to help around the house.  "Clean your room!"  Nothing... "Clean up after the dog!"  Zero... "Fold some clothes!"  Zippo...   Frankly, my wife and I ran out of ideas on getting the kids to help with chores  -- "We're gonna tell Santa!" -- until now.  From here on out, I'll bribe them with fat, juicy hamburgers.  "But is that healthy?"  Hey, I'll try anything if it guarantees a trace of cooperation from our 'delightful' teens.  "Can't mow the lawn, Dad."   What?  It can't be.  Why not?  "You forgot the ketchup."  Oh...  "And a toy."