Camping Anyone?

I'm thinking of surprising my wife and kids with a camping trip this summer.  "Hey guys, let's do something different."  Why not?  I can be the outdoorsy type when I want to be.  Heck, I mow the lawn all the time.  "Don't forget your allergy pill!"   Yeah, I can be the second coming of Johnny Appleseed and Daniel Boone without a hitch.  "Hey, who took my Coonskin cap?!" Yeah, I've slept outdoors dozens of times, sometimes by choice. "-- And stay out!"  (It's awfully nice of the dog to leave a spot for me.) From what I understand, bears have moved out of state, so what's there to be afraid of?  "Spider...!  Spider...!"  Also, air conditioning is now available at all national parks, right? "Leave the temperature at 75..." Yeah, I feel like "roughin' it" for a few days, living off the land.  "This is how the pioneers lived, kids."  Yeah, I'm pretty sure my wife and daughter will have a good time, too.  "Waddya mean there's no five-star hotel?!"  I can't wait to go camping, it's going to be a blast...  I'll take the boys fishing with me, go possum hunting... "Dad, what about my Xbox?!"  Yeah, we're going to have the best time of our lives... "Sweetheart, where's the bedet?"  Who needs a crowded tourist spot like Hawaii when we have the great outdoors at our fingertips... "Don't forget the bug repellant?"  Wait a minute, are you telling me there's bugs out there?  "Big as a house."  The kind that bite every nook and cranny of the human anatomy?!  "Uh... guys, why don't we go to Disneyland instead...?"