Price Check, Please!

Sorry, but I don't use the self-checkout line at the supermarket anymore.  I just don't and won't.  And here's why: I end up needing help anyway!  "How do I work this darn thing?!"  Call me dumb (I rather you didn't) but I don't know how to use those fancy thingamajig scanners.  "Somebody help me, please!  Anybody!"  I've tried, believe me, but I just can't get the hang of it.  "How do I ring up these squash?!-- and what about this cow tongue?!"    I remember vividly the first time I approached the do-it-yourself machine: "Good morning," I said. "Good morning to you, too," I said right back as I turned to face myself (you have to be quick on your feet).  People looked at me like I was some sort of nut.  Like I was some sort of lunatic.  I didn't like that, people looking at me all weird.  (Maybe it was the name tag and apron I put on as I struggled with the celery sticks.)  Another thing I didn't like was having to round up all those carts in the parking lot.  "Hey, this is a lot of work, here!" The last time I attempted to use the self-checkout, I got really frustrated with some fruit.  "I'm supposed to scan each grape in the bunch, right?"  Call me old fashioned but I think we all need a little human interaction every once in awhile.  I think it's healthy to want to have a friendly face smiling at me as I pay for my groceries.  "Would you like to donate a dollar to I.Q. research, sir?"  Boy, I sure wish this cashier would just go away... "Leave me alone!"