Ship's Ahoy!

After spending the day boat paddling at a local lake, I've come to a logical conclusion: It's time to invest in a yacht.  Yes, I'll travel the Seven Seas and write about my many adventures.  "Uh, we can't afford it, honey."  Bull pucky.  I'll borrow money from Frank McCourt if I have to.  He's got lots of dough, right?  "I'm sorry, you have me mistaken for Mark Cuban."  Beside, where's it written that the kids have to eat everyday?  The human body needs fluids way before it ever needs food, right? -- "Give 'em water!"  I'm gonna get me a boat!  I'm gonna get me a BIG boat!  And I can't wait!  I'll get me a captain's hat, a fishing pole a  -- "You get sea sick."  I do not, that was the rollercoaster.   I'll write home to the family every week and try my best not to get stranded on a deserted island with a bunch of goofy characters...  "Hi, my name's Gilligan, and this here's the Professor."  Yes, my latest venture's going to work out well.  And just in case I do get stuck on an island all by my lonesome, I'll try my best not to start talking to volleyballs either (I much prefer baseballs).  "Why don't you answer me, you stupid sphere?!  Talk to me!"  Yachting is going to be so much fun.  I'll hang out with rich people, sip champagne all day long.  Why, I'll even talk with a fancy accent: "Oui! Oui! We're low on caviar." Once on my yacht, I'll be especially careful not to crash into any foreign objects either.  "Uh, Captain, that was no ice cube we just struck."  Huh?  Where have I heard that one before?