What's that in dog years?

I'm not the jealous type... usually.  But then it happened.  Some very reliable sources other than TMZ (my wife and kids) told me a neighborhood dog was recently serenaded with "Happy Birthday."   What?!  What makes that canine so special?  Does he know any "Knock-Knock" jokes?  Does he put food on the table?  Right then  and there, I was consumed with fits of jealousy.  "Oh yeah, dog?! -- At least I don't have fleas! -- And I know how to use a knife and fork!"  You see, my birthday's coming up and -- "Somebody sing to me!  -- Anybody!"  Sorry, I'm a bit sensitive this team of year.  You see, it's been ages since anyone sang  the birthday song to me and -- Wait a minute, if all it takes is a stupid pet trick... I can roll over, I'm willing to chase after an annoying cat or  three.  Heck, I'll even dress up in one of those dopey dog sweaters if I have to.  "Does this make me look fat?"  Why, I'll even take part in training sessions with that Dog Whisperer guy.  "What happened to the singing?!"  When I was a little boy, my parents always celebrated my birthday, capped off by the traditional birthday song.  Boy, those were great times.  And I'd like to relive those moments...  every year.  "Mommy, help me with my birthday candles."  (Excuse me while I wipe away some tears.) Nothing wrong with craving the role of Birthday Boy, right?  At any age.  So, I don't think I'm being unreasonable to ask for a little a cappella alongside my cake and ice cream.  "Hey you, Mister, come over here.  How do you feel about singing to a grown man?"