Lost and (Finally) Found

Did you hear about the man who found his wife's engagement ring   -- nearly 40 years later?!  Forty years!  Yeah, that's with the '4' in the tens place.  I can just see the guy scrambling around, looking for that ring all those years...  "I know I put it here somewhere."  I can only imagine the doghouse that poor guy was in.  "At least toss me a blanket, will ya?"  How sad... "Sleeping in the garage isn't so bad after awhile..."  Sigh... I'm glad I wasn't the one to break the news to his wife way back when...  "YOU LOST MY WHAT?!!!"  Hopefully, the guy was quick-thinking.  "Yeah, someone broke into the house while you were in the shower and all they took was your ring -- honest."  Yeah, I'm sure that worked. Here's a better one: "Honey,  a bunch of Russian spies raided the house, and you'll never guess what they took..."  Poor dope, I bet the last time the guy had a warm meal was when his wife fired a breakfast burrito into the microwave.  "You want a hot meal? -- Here's your hot meal!"  My guess is this careless guy was reminded daily about the long-lost ring. "How would you like it if I lost your favorite golf club, huh?  What if I lost all of your childhood baseball cards?!"  Look, I'm not saying that women can hold a grudge, but... women can hold a grudge.  With good reason, of course.  "How could you ever lose my engagement ring?  Please explain!" I just wish I could've been there when the poor sap made his discovery and his eyes welled with tears: "Honey, look what I found! -- your ring!"  His good wife surely turned to him and said: "Good, now you can go out and get me a bigger rock -- this one's so puny."  Oh...