He Went Thattaway!

Okay, so here's my two cents worth: My sense of direction isn't the greatest.  But it's not terrible, either.  "Get a navigational system," one know-it-all once piped in.  Nope.  Never.  I've got too much pride... while continuing to get "diverted." I refuse to say that I get "lost."  You want "lost?"-- go see Christopher Columbus.  Now that's one guy who refused to ask for directions.  "Boss, I think you missed a continent back there."  And what's with "Do not enter."  What are they talking about?  I don't see a door!  "Knock.  Knock."  And what's with so many red "Wrong Way" signs?  (you'd think sign makers would be more creative and come up with something new) I really believe that I'd get better at finding places if given a chance...  "Go West!" I'm told.  Okay. (That's where the Sun rises, no?)  Just to prove my point, I should moonlight as a taxi driver.  "I don't do One Way streets."  Maybe not.  "How about a limo driver?"  Nah, then I'd have to parallel park that big ol' thing.  Now that I think about it, that's what's wrong with our society these days: people don't have time to get lost anymore.  "Enjoy the sights, granny." Hey, get this, there was this one time when my wife got really mad at me for missing a couple of exits.  I mean, really, really mad.  She called me every word in Webster's Dictionary. (good thing she didn't find the thesaurus) I still can't figure what the big deal was. I mean, what was her rush?  "Can't you see I'm in labor?!" (expectant mothers can be so touchy...)