Tally-ho!

I feel kind of guilty not taking Prince William's call awhile back: "Tell him I'm on the throne."  (he caught me at a bad time, okay?) I have this sneaky suspicion that Willie wanted to hire me as the wedding planner for the Royal Wedding.  I usually don't do such things, but I'm sure I would've done a great job, given the chance. (somebody probably told him I do a great British accent, though it sounds more like Cheech Marin's when I don't practice.)  One thing's for sure: I would've saved the Royal Family quite a few bucks on the upcoming shindig.  Don't believe me?  "I don't believe you."  Well, first off, I know where to find great cakes at a great price-- Sam's Club!  "You'll need to renew your membersip, sir."  That's right, and that's just for starters.  The wedding dress, why spend so much in this economy?  I would've hooked 'em up for much less.  I know this seamstress in East L.A., she makes these great quinceañera dresses...  For dinner, I would've called this great caterer, he makes the best tacos de cabeza...  (Hey, it's a notch above England's "Toad-in-the-Hole" and "Bubble and Squeak.") I also have connections to a great photographer (He takes great pictures at the local DMV, and fantastic mug shots of naughty celebrities). Yeah, I'm kinda feeling  bad that I ignored the Prince's call.  I'll have to make it up to him next time I visit England.  "Cheerio!"  Maybe we can have a "guys' night out" with Harry Potter and his boys.   Or perhaps we can participate in a polo match or something.  I mean, what's so hard about chasing after a ball while riding a horse, right?  Anybody can do it.  "Excuse me, Willie, where's the ignition on this thing...?"