Don't Falter at the Altar...

There's big news in our household -- and NO, it has nothing to do with the stork.  Actually, our younger son is now an honest-to-goodness altar boy.  Honest (No, he doesn't wear flip-flops and shorts underneath).  I'd say this puts our family in good stead with The Man Upstairs, right?  "I'm watching you..." Great, now that I'm the proud papa of an altar boy, I'll have to really be on my best behavior just about all the time.  "Waddya mean I can't chew gum during mass?"  Not only that, I can't be yelling or screaming like a crazed mad man -- "Mama mia!" -- during ballgames, either.  But let's not lose sight, it's not about me, okay?  See, there's a lot of pressure on my kid up on that altar, if you ask me... "Can I ask you something?"  (Inquiring minds want to know, I guess.) Think about this: What if the poor kid drops a lit candle?  "Everybody run for the exits!"  And that Bible he delivers to the priest, it looks pretty heavy, too... "I don't care if you have a hernia -- don't drop it!"  One another thing: What if my kid dozes off in front of all those people? (I'm afraid he took after his mom.) Zzzzzzzzz... "Psssssst, wake up, son.  Wake up!"  On the bright side, it'll all be worth it.  For sure, I'm sure.  See, my boy will be able to put in a good word for our favorite sports teams... "Hey, tell Him to get the Lakers a point guard that can actually guard.  Yeah, and for the Dodgers, see if He can find us an owner that actually owns some cash.  "I'll see what I can do..."  Thank God...